I miss my mother soooo much

On March 23rd, in the wee hours of the morning, my mother, Joanne Houston Sitgraves, left this planet and reached out to the hands of God.

We had our ups...and DEFINITELY our downs... but all in all, there's not a woman on this planet that I admired more. She truly knew how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents and deserved SO MUCH MORE out of life, than what she was given.



This is a video tribute that I made for her funeral... I loved this woman... and I must say, there is NO loss greater, than the loss of your mother.

** Sometimes ya just wanna... ***

Cuddle...

Sigh, today I'd just really like to have some testosterone all up and around me (I said AROUND not inside... )... I just wanna lay in bed and spooooooAooon with someone that I value. Someone who can laugh with me and play fight in the sheets... lol... that really is the funnest thing ever ( don't joke on my english)--

I jusssssst wanna cudddddddddddddddle... This is the hardest part of being single.

** I am ready. NO SERIOUSLY!!!**

This is my bedroom as it sits now... empty... lol.. lonely lonely bed... lmaoooo


** Ok... last night was kind of a knee jerk blog. Let me qualify my remarks today...





--Thought I know you can't dictate when it happens. I think you can say when you're ready. I am ready to be 'in love' again. I just have fond memories of the great things that were involved w/ that. I am trying to shut out all the bad things that were tangled in w/ those trappings... lol.. I am tired of "making due" with someone who adores me and that I don't have reciprocal feelings for. That's not fair to either party.





-- At somepoint you have to say ENOUGH. I won't settle anymore... And that's where I am. I've had what I deemed to be a great (part) of what 'love' should be. And I won't settle for less. I want someone who treats me well ( this dude does). Someone who's smart ( not so much ). Someone who has a bright future ( regardless to what that means... and believe me...it is relative). Someone who thinks the sun rises and sets in me (haha! Believe it or not Jay-- he did @ first ("jenny")). Someone who makes me smile just by smiling... Someone who's frown makes me smile. Someone who's heartbreak also breaks my heart. Someone to be proud of. Someone to hold. Someone to wakeup next to and take that 'deep breath'.. you know which one I mean... the one that says... how did I get so damn lucky.





-- He's out there... and he'll find me. He'll find me while I'm volunteering... Or at the Gym... or taking a class... or something like that. My dream man doesn't hang out at the club. Blah... Blah Blah... Blah... I'm so sick of typing about love... SICK! I'm gonna put a "once a week" clause in my love subject matter section of the blog! lmaoooo

** But really, I don't **

Ya know... I'm typing this from my Bed on my PDA. Reason being, I really had to capture this moment of weakness...

I just laid here, alone and watching the news, and sent a text that I completely didn't mean to someone completely innocent.

″ I missssssssssssses u. ″

Sometimes I just need a surrogate boyfriend. someone to send my sweet message to. Someone to talk sweetly to, and to smile about. I miss having someone to 'misses'. I miss it alot.

Papi and I used to have text wars... we'd see who could make the others phone go berzerk first with an over abundance of text messages... he always won... well, except for the last time... lol... I won that battle :-)

I said all that to say this... i miss the silly things that couples do... not so much the actual relationships... just the cutesy stuff... the bad thing is, good people get caught in the crossfire.

The guy that I sent that to, ADORES me. Probably the highlight of his day is when I say I missssssssssssses him... truth is, Really I don't. I more just miss the act of having someone to text late at night...

I'm such an ass...