** You'll Never Forget Your First **

***Hahahahaha... You'll NEVER forget your first scrog. I know that mine was well... ummm weird. I won't elaborate... but let's just say... it happened in an unconventional place, at an unconventional time, with an unconventional person... But nonetheless... it happened.

***WELLL Today, I as at the park w/ my kiddo and all of a sudden the guy that I lost it to appeared. He had his 2 kiddo's and they were GORGEOUS-- He came right up and we chit chatted for a while... I caught him staring @ me a couple times.. and that was that...

***He was still cute... BUT... because of the way our "deal" went down... it was weird to be in this close proximity to him. We started talking about a mutual friend of mine... and he told me to tell her "hi". It's fuhnie because I think she's interested in him... weird ... but whatevs... that was 9 yrs ago... this is now... It's just funny that no matter how much time passes (and how weird the 'deed' actually was... you never forget your first :)

** Unexpected Texting**

SO, above being proud of myself for completeing the 5k... comes ANOTHER proud moment.

Exie told me that he loved me last night and always would... and I didn't swoon! What does this mean?! lmaooo Hopefully that I'm really ready to embrace this friendship that we're building without hope of "Purple Mountains Majesties".

The context of the conversation was funny @ first-- w/ him trying to damn fool me... and then me doing the same to him (only to come clean)... He said he and [new broad] were naming their kid after me. ::blank stare:: So I'm thinking they're going to do a take off of "Jae" (just the name I go by... not my governmental name). We'd always planned to name our first daughter Jaeleigh (His first initial and middle name written out / my first name (J.Lee and Jae)), Our first son would most definately be a III (He's a Jr. Obviously).

So given that, I thought he'd just migrated that plan to Jen (new broad). BUT THEN he says they're planning to use my full governmental name (minus) the last name... And I'm like yeah, whatevs... you're full of shit. lmaoooo I knew it was a joke...

We laugh about that... as we seem to be drifting our separate ways again I say, " Oh by the way, I meant to tell you you Jinxed me on Valentines day..." He'd told me to go make a baby w/ Kris... in a fit of anger for my spending time w/ him.

He asks how and I allude the fact that I'm preggo (I'm not). He is shocked... and gives me the same congrats that I probably gave him when he confirmed his REAL pregnancy... I let this back and forth go on for a bit... then fess up... adding that God has let things happen as they were supposed to. Letting him know that I thought we'd never gotten preggo because God knew that we wouldn't last forever and was saving him for Jen. I told him that our relationship was about 90% bad and I'm glad that we still came out of it w/ our friendship intact and growing stronger..

He thinks our relationship was good (becasue i was the one taking all the shit and he was getting all the unconditional love) and that small things caused our end. Oh well.... He's jaded. SOOoooo We continue to chit chat... he wants to know more about the dynamic of my friendship w/ Kris.... I know I shouldn't have told him... because... why would he wanna know... I tell him anyway... lmao... Tell him that Kris "serves a purpose".

"I guess I served a purpose too huh?"
... here it comes... wait for it wait for it.....
"No, I lovED your ass to death. Him. Just a filler."
"I love you very much too.. and always will."
:sigh: I knew this... I KNEW he still loved me... and I know it's not the same as it was and means nothing... but it was weird that he actually SAID it... He hasn't said it in over a year. I didn't swoon or take anything from it... was just shocked that he admitted it.
(btw, wonder where his babies mama is while he's texting his almost babies-mama-wife? lmao)

The convo continues, but I move the subject into more secure territories...
Nothing eventful...

It still was nice to know I still own a piece of real estate in his heart... :)
He makes it a point to tell me that he's not marrying her because of the baby... but still will most likely marry her. (I don't care). Wonder why he does that?

Oh well...

** Don't Tell Your Friends Or I'll Say You're A Slut! **

Bwahahahaha I ABSOLUTELY have love Adam Sandberg since he joined the cast of SNL! LMAOOOO I love this...

A Song comes on that reminds me of you and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS... Opened the Window and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS...

** Ummm... You're SUSPECT!**

SO...

This morning on my way to work, I was reminiscing about ... well .. I'm pretty sure you know about what... and for WHATEVER reason, I began thinking of what the signs would be that your boyfriend was " Suspect " (in this case meaning, possibly gay/bi-sexual).

....

I remember my most recent ex and I were hanging out in "our" house in TX. I was coming out of the shower post-coitus and-- ummm-- to my suprise he had on a pair of my panties

::blank stare::

"Ummm.. honey.. Seriously? Why do you have on my undies?!"... him, " Hahahahaha... "

WHAT?!

-- so I let that go--

Same trip... different day... I walk out into the kitchen... and he's like 4 inches taller... I'm scratching my head... I look down... He's got on a pair of my heels... Ummm what?! "honey... why are you wearing my shoes?" him... " hahahahah... " Me, " you're suspect."-- He's pissed...

I let that shit drop both times... but it almost makes me think I dodged a bullet... For future references of any man who may like me, never... ever ever... EVER ever ever... EEEEEEEEEver ever ever Let me catch you in any article of clothing that belongs to me. ESPECIALLY my panties and heels.

:sigh:

Am I crazy? Or was that suspect? Is that something dudes do w/ their girls when they get comfortable?! They try on their underoos?

(I so hope he never ever finds this blog...lol)