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Friday, February 6, 2009

**Drunken Clarity **



Hahahaha... That pic was from a very long time ago-- like 6 or 7 yrs... lmao... I'm a drinker...Not very often... but when I do, I go for broke. I chase whiskey with beer, fight when I drink gin, and carry a MEAN hang-over when tequila is involved.

Almost ALL liquor ( except gin) makes me "friendly", so I have to monitor my surroundings and make sure I keep my wits about me. It is what it is... and.. tonight.. I am about 1 1/2 sheets to the wind (not quite 3).

When I'm drinking, I think about things differently. With a clearer mind. I recall HAPPY events instead of the sad ones. I get a greater respect for the events that were really negative in my life... and... strangely enough, I see the positive in them.

I'm thinking alot about my last relationship tonight. The reasons it ended. The things that I did wrong. The things he did wrong. I've surmised that, regardless to if we'd have stayed together in the MEANTIME, we would have EVENTUALLY broken up... SO... I did myself a favor by not moving to TX. God did us a favor by not allowing us to become pregnant (though we tried SO hard). And LIFE did me a favor by allowing me to be IN that relationship and realize just how FAR I'd go for someone I love.

I've never said this before... but I'm glad it's over. I'm thankful for the time that we spent. But truth be told. I was done long ago. My fucking stubborn ass heart REFUSED to let go of what she'd built up to be her 'ideal'. My head fought that b*tch and tried to pry her fingers away one by one ( ala sylvester and tweety), but she just latched back on. My heart is stubborn... and refuses to let go sometimes.

Anywhooo--- my drunken clarity is nice. I love it!! What's my new frontier? Maybe internet dating!! lol... I've never given that an honest chance. and why not? I'm a good girl. Sweet, kind, etc, etc... and I can spot a 'creep' a mile away... Let's see... that should make for some phenomenal blogs... lol

The sex(less)capades of Jae... hahahahaha

(let me say this... even in my drunken clarity, I STILL think Etta James was wronged!) lmao

4 comments:

NightFall914 said...

Drunken Bat Gurl.....EEWWWWW @ A certain thing u said about trying to do certain things. LOL @ "Friendly."

♥ CG ♥ said...

Whew, are we related? Girl, you had me crackin' up over here. Totally been there...I like a taste every now and then...you never know what may happen...lol. I get all friendly too and everybody loves me...according to me...lol.

Anonymous said...

I must say, you are the prettiest part time lush blogger I have ever seen. ;) I wouldn't recommend drunken internet dating though, mess around and you will have a date with a man who's roomate is his mother. lol!!!

JaeSpenc said...

@Jayce-- lol whatever.

@Curvy Girl-- Yep... when I'm drunk, my best friends are usually my sober enemies... and I like to confess things. lmao and I'm an AVID drunk dialer... I even did it last night... but luckily not to anyone dangerous. lmao

@Bigga-- thanks you sweetcheeks :) I'm nt a lush at all... and I don't think I'm even brave enough to internet date... drunk or otherwise... lol