Today was a beautifully glorious day... It began w/ me wishing my daughter a happy 7th birth
day. Nothing better than looking @ this beautiful little woman, and knowing that I have brought her to this point alone. Yes... others have touched her life and helped to mold her in small ways... but for the most part... Mommy has done it.
day. Nothing better than looking @ this beautiful little woman, and knowing that I have brought her to this point alone. Yes... others have touched her life and helped to mold her in small ways... but for the most part... Mommy has done it. The next order of the day was to go pick up my mother from the nursing home and get her ready to come out for my great-nephew's 1st birthday part (yes, he and my daughter SHARE the same birthday... she hates it). This was a daunting task, and one that I'm not sure I can ever get used to. I actually had to bathe her and get her dressed. For me, it's a weird position to be in because I'm so used to my mom being strong...
... it wasn't bad though ...
So we go to the party, it was great to see her happy and smiling and talking to people. My mom was like an escaped inmate. The only sad part was when she said she was tired and we had to leave. I wheel her back to the car... and drive her past the family house. She wants to see how things are. After that, we head back to Louisville to the nursing home. It's about a 45minute drive, so we have time to talk. I hear her talking about getting a car and getting out and all that jazz. It makes me very sad, because I know honestly, she'll probably never drive again... and that she'll probably remain in the nursing home for quite sometime. I just sigh, and agree w/ her.
The saddest part is when we actually arrived back @ the home. I pulled up outside and she had no clue where we actually were. She didn't remember coming in and hadn't been outside since her arrival. I get her into the home and wheel her to her room... as soon as we're in the nurses start coming... (she's very popular there!)... They ask her if she's had a good time... if she's tired... etc... She is. The transformation that happened next is what bothered me...
... They began taking off her street clothes and putting her back into her gown. Putting her on the bed and laying her down ( This is what she wanted). The transformation from my mom in her old form to her sick form almost made me cry. I litterally almost lost it there. She again looked frail and extremely sick...
Sigh... I know that she was still the same person... but it broke my heart to leave her there...
but, at least we had a good day.
2 comments:
i can only imagine how hard it is to witness someone just a image of their former self..but all you can do is hold onto and close those good memories...and i'm glad you were able to look to the fact that you had a good day after all was said and done...
Yeah.. she still has her mind completely... So that's nice. She's still her feisty self...
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