I am a true Gemini

I never realized I was such a Gemini until today.
By nature, we're supposed to be fickle people. Easily bored, shiftless, flighty, promiscuous and all in all not good people to be 'interested' in or in a 'relationship' with. Me, I like to say I was born on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer. June 19th is my birthday, and to me, I have alot of the sensitivity and loyalty of a Cancer. On other fronts... I'm ALLLLL GEM!

I become bored w/ men who actually LIKE me. If you show too much interest. I want you GONE. If you let me, I'll walk allllll over you. I'll play w/ your heart and make you think you're the best thing walking... all the while... wishing I'd never given you any indication that I had an inkling of a smigend of interest in you.

Instead of just telling you that I am not interested anymore, I'll make you hate me. I'll do WHATEVER I have to do to get you to detest me so that I don't have to be the bad guy or the person that ends things. I've ended relationships this way... I've ended FRIENDSHIPS this way. I just get to a point where I don't care.

I'll ignore you. Pretend you don't exsist until you leave me alone. Then when you leave me alone, I'll lure you back in so I can do it all over again. I may look like the victim in the crime... but usually I'm the perpetrator. about 90% of the time.

I wasn't honest in my last relationship. In the one that I wanted to last forever. I was dishonest in ALOT of ways. Ways that I'll never disclose. Ways that are senseless and mean. Harsh. I wasn't a good girlfriend. I never have been the best. When I'm devoted to you... that last as long as it does... and then I'm not. It'll never occur to you that I'm not anymore... because you'll just be trying to get out...

I need to get things off my chest. Things I did. Things I wish I'd not done. But. I'll never tell. Only the other parties involved would know. I'm not a good person. I want you to think I am. But underneath it all. I'm not.

Just so you know.