So, we all go through things right? I've read blog afte blog after blog about happy relationships, bad ones, getting over ex's, and rekindling the 'fire within'. The experiences are all different. Different words. Different ways of getting 'back on the horse'. It's all so different that it's almost the same...
My question is, can you TRULY be broken? Can you get to a point where you're so skeptical about new 'love' and relationships that you can't PHYSICALLY feel the things that are felt when new love is budding? Can your "butterflies" be gone for good? Lightheadedness permanently cured? Is it possible that one bad turn has ruined you for the rest?'
Before, I was so happy go lucky with love. Had never been IN LOVE (until the last situation), but had loved every bf that I'd had ( and they were few (under 4)). It took little less than the sound of their voice, or their name appearing on my caller id to start the flutters. A MILLION butterflies over an open field letting me know that I was happy...
There's a look that shades my eyes... kind of a puppydog, sappy, "I'm enamoured" look. It's so thick that even I notice ( and you know these things are usually pointed out by people on the outside looking in). That look is gone. I've not had it for almost 2 years. I miss it. I miss how I used to feel.
I have NO INTEREST in any man. Usually there's someone who tickles my fancy. But now. Nothing. I actually have tried to weed as many men out of my life as possible. Only really talking to Kris ( my friend here), Jayce (my friend in NY), and sometimes Byron... a friend I talk to from time to time online. Other guys... annoy me. When there are sexual references made (by ANY MAN), that ALSO annoys me... Which is shocking... because USUALLY, I'm the one making the lewd comments. Ugh. I hate this.
I'm not really sure if you can be broken. If it's possible... I am there.
My question is, can you TRULY be broken? Can you get to a point where you're so skeptical about new 'love' and relationships that you can't PHYSICALLY feel the things that are felt when new love is budding? Can your "butterflies" be gone for good? Lightheadedness permanently cured? Is it possible that one bad turn has ruined you for the rest?'
Before, I was so happy go lucky with love. Had never been IN LOVE (until the last situation), but had loved every bf that I'd had ( and they were few (under 4)). It took little less than the sound of their voice, or their name appearing on my caller id to start the flutters. A MILLION butterflies over an open field letting me know that I was happy...
There's a look that shades my eyes... kind of a puppydog, sappy, "I'm enamoured" look. It's so thick that even I notice ( and you know these things are usually pointed out by people on the outside looking in). That look is gone. I've not had it for almost 2 years. I miss it. I miss how I used to feel.
I have NO INTEREST in any man. Usually there's someone who tickles my fancy. But now. Nothing. I actually have tried to weed as many men out of my life as possible. Only really talking to Kris ( my friend here), Jayce (my friend in NY), and sometimes Byron... a friend I talk to from time to time online. Other guys... annoy me. When there are sexual references made (by ANY MAN), that ALSO annoys me... Which is shocking... because USUALLY, I'm the one making the lewd comments. Ugh. I hate this.
I'm not really sure if you can be broken. If it's possible... I am there.
6 comments:
....you can only be broken if u allow it.Humans heal that's what we do.
"Had never been IN LOVE (until the last situation)"
So this is your first experience with this level of THAT emotion and truthfully it ended as extremely as one could imagine, with u seein' him impregnate that next chicc.Yeah that's the worst so from the positive extreme you've swung to the negative.Now you wonder if your broken.....It's like the athlete that has the dramatic career threatening and it nervous if they'll ever return to their previous skill level.
Its natural yet no more easy to deal with.You'll struggle then make steady progress bacC to normalcy.And when your time is here all will fall into to place.
But as for the initial question, "No I don't so".
Thanks for reading my blog and commenting and yes, I feel like you jacked today's post (the one I had in mind to write)...still gonna write it tho..lol
Anywhosies! Yes! You can be broken. Yes, it is possible to not be able to physically feel anything. I think it is a conscious decision we make as a defense mechanism. And yes, when the right man comes along...we will have to manually turn it off...I think.
Its a struggle to not be THAT woman - the angry man-eating bitch...but lawd!! Its hard.
Good luck, chickie!
i used to be at that stage. it was partly as a defense mechanism but i also made a conscious decision to just avoid me altogether because i associated men = pain. which isn't true obviously but as long as i thought that was that's always what i was going to run into. i gave up on love, relationships, companionship, all of it. my last relationship really did ruin it for every man who tried and will try to approach me. but in a good way, i just know what i want out of a man, and what i should avoid.
i met somebody who felt EXACTLY the way i felt. the same thoughts i had about men , he had ( and still kinda has ) about women. we spent so much time trying to fight our attraction to each other, stuff we had in common etc that it was denying both of us potential happiness. i think we both finally realized we can either let things flow or ruin a potentially good relationship. everything isn't all happy go lucky and peachy but it's farrrr from where it started.
i believe you can be broken... But you heal..I remember I was with a guy whom used sex to get me to do things.. He would say "if we dont have sex, its over" and I was so low then that i let it happen. I began to HATE sex..BUT that was a long time ago, and I am trying to heal.. I reexamined myself..and my next relationship.. I am not bringing all the past HURT and start with a FRESH slate
Yes you can be broken, but tha good news is you can put yourself back together and be stonger.
All of you are absolutely right!!! LOL thank you so much... honestly, I'm not that broken up about the situation that I've come across... but... I just can't feel anything for a man (or a woman... lol don't take it wrong)...
Anywhooo-- I guess I'll know when it's time.
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