** Sometimes ya just wanna... ***

Cuddle...

Sigh, today I'd just really like to have some testosterone all up and around me (I said AROUND not inside... )... I just wanna lay in bed and spooooooAooon with someone that I value. Someone who can laugh with me and play fight in the sheets... lol... that really is the funnest thing ever ( don't joke on my english)--

I jusssssst wanna cudddddddddddddddle... This is the hardest part of being single.

** I am ready. NO SERIOUSLY!!!**

This is my bedroom as it sits now... empty... lol.. lonely lonely bed... lmaoooo


** Ok... last night was kind of a knee jerk blog. Let me qualify my remarks today...





--Thought I know you can't dictate when it happens. I think you can say when you're ready. I am ready to be 'in love' again. I just have fond memories of the great things that were involved w/ that. I am trying to shut out all the bad things that were tangled in w/ those trappings... lol.. I am tired of "making due" with someone who adores me and that I don't have reciprocal feelings for. That's not fair to either party.





-- At somepoint you have to say ENOUGH. I won't settle anymore... And that's where I am. I've had what I deemed to be a great (part) of what 'love' should be. And I won't settle for less. I want someone who treats me well ( this dude does). Someone who's smart ( not so much ). Someone who has a bright future ( regardless to what that means... and believe me...it is relative). Someone who thinks the sun rises and sets in me (haha! Believe it or not Jay-- he did @ first ("jenny")). Someone who makes me smile just by smiling... Someone who's frown makes me smile. Someone who's heartbreak also breaks my heart. Someone to be proud of. Someone to hold. Someone to wakeup next to and take that 'deep breath'.. you know which one I mean... the one that says... how did I get so damn lucky.





-- He's out there... and he'll find me. He'll find me while I'm volunteering... Or at the Gym... or taking a class... or something like that. My dream man doesn't hang out at the club. Blah... Blah Blah... Blah... I'm so sick of typing about love... SICK! I'm gonna put a "once a week" clause in my love subject matter section of the blog! lmaoooo

** lonliness sucks. Basically **

Blah. I'm that girl.

I'm that girl that has to be cuddled and adored...

I have to be texted 5-trillion times a day just because.

I neeed random and spontaneous smooches...

lots of them.

I need to make goo-goo eyes @ you all the time.

I need to stroke your arm.. your back.. your neck.. etc

I'm that girl

The one who wants to know that you are thinking of me.

It stinks when you don't do it.

I sometimes feel worthless.

I feel like no one likes me

thought I know that's not true.

I'm scared alot.

Bills stress me out... but I pay them anyway.

The bachelor is way too long tonight.

Why hasn't there been a black bacherlor/bachelorette

Why hasn't there been a plus sized bachelor/bachelorette..

They should let me be her... that would kill two birds w/ one stone

I hate doing laundry-- but I do it anyway.

I miss my mom.

I miss her as she was..

I can't stand my (Bio) mom.

She hasn't been there for me in this trying time.

I confess I will probably never forgive her for it.

I need to vacuum the floor.

I secretly like my job.

i guess it's not a secret anymore.

I want to move soon.

I want to move to Philadelphia eventually

or maybe California

perhaps New York

Chicago might be nice.

I love to kiss

good kisses

I won't kiss you if you have bad oral hygiene

I think I spelled hygiene wrong.

I refuse to spell check it.

I love the smell of baby lotion

and baby powder

I put it under my sheets

I have a crush on David Beckham

and my friend Deanna's friend Deepak

oh... and Robert Pattinson

I will probably end up marrying outside of my race.

I confess that there is really only one man that gives me faith in my own race of men

I confess that he will be cloned.

I confess that he's probably "shaking his head" at the lines 3 up from this one ( and the one after that too)

They gym is working...

I did more running today-- and it didn't almost kill me.

My heart rate is coming down with higher speeds

that's good right?

Love sucks

I have a "thing" for middle eastern men.

I may have developed a 'think' for indian men.

or maybe it's just the one.

I'm sleepy.

I secretly want at least 2 of my ex's back.

I guess THAT's not a secret either.

I need to remember why they're ex's

I'm usually ashamed of myself.

but I'm working on that.

I never think I'm 'good' enough

If my mom dies, I'll probably not see my family for quite sometime

I'm going to become detached

I plan on doing that on purpose.

Bah-- I'm sick of rambling...

for tonight...

This is what happens when I have nothing to write about.

Congrats if you read all that... lol