...I've written about this before... but it just happened again and it NEVER CEASES to freak me out...
It's about 70 degrees in my house. I'm under covers and not physically cold in the least. YET, I AM SHAKING! Not just shaking a little... but I'm having ridiculously strong TREMORS. My jaws are clenched and my muscles are spasming like I've been exposed to the elements in some icy tundra....
... why? ...
BECAUSE MY EX TEXT'd ME! This man has lost most of his MENTAL control of me but has retained and seemingly INTENSIFIED his ability to control me physically... or at least my reactions to him... Just his name on my phone makes me nervous. Puts me into a state of flux. I hate it. I hope it passes someday... Because even though I'm not in love w/ him anymore... I guess some part of me is refusing to let go...
::shook:: quite literally
It's about 70 degrees in my house. I'm under covers and not physically cold in the least. YET, I AM SHAKING! Not just shaking a little... but I'm having ridiculously strong TREMORS. My jaws are clenched and my muscles are spasming like I've been exposed to the elements in some icy tundra....
... why? ...
BECAUSE MY EX TEXT'd ME! This man has lost most of his MENTAL control of me but has retained and seemingly INTENSIFIED his ability to control me physically... or at least my reactions to him... Just his name on my phone makes me nervous. Puts me into a state of flux. I hate it. I hope it passes someday... Because even though I'm not in love w/ him anymore... I guess some part of me is refusing to let go...
::shook:: quite literally
3 comments:
You will get over it one day hun! there was an "ex" of mine who had the same effect on me but i realized that i am strong and can deal with any obstacle in my path...from what i can read it seems as if you too are a strong minded and strong willed woman...
I have faith in your self and all will be well...
you'll get over it soon. I can't say i've ever had the spooked reaction...but i've had the like my stomach dropping reaction. it ends (MOST OF THE TIME). I hope you feel better and try not to sweat it too hard.
HEY! Thanks you guys!!! It actually turned out to be a really great conversation. He told me he missed me dearly and made several sexual jokes, but I kept myself reined in...
I lied and told him that I thought of him as my brother now and not mylover. to which he laughed and made another sexual joke. lmaoooo I'm not shocked, he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. so he knew I was lying. lmao
I try to keep my distance from him. we only talk once or twice a month. which is healthy. it give him room to move on. and me to do the same. But we're very close... still.
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