it's worth a try, right?

I haven't written in a bit because I've been busy putting in resume after resume, and taking a few interviews...

Yessss that's right I'm unemployed and attempting to bridge the gap. Sooo if u have some extra coins in your couch or even a quarter or dollar in your sock, be kind... pay it forward, and I'll do the same :)

Seems weird, me virtual panhandling... butttt desperate times call for desperate measures. :)

If you can help, please do. :)

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Now the world don't go, to the beat of just one drum...

.... what might be right for u, may not be right for some ...

IF more people lived by that mantra, things would be much more peaceful on this planet... if you could TRULY abide by the words 'To each their own', we'd have no need to meddle or worry about why she does this and he does that but it doesn't work for us...

The concentration should be on finding our own groove and finding the best path through out life's maze making the most positive twists and turns for us...

Live and let live... that's what I say... you don't have to be best friends with everyone... simply learn how to "Coexist"

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Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Say WHAT now!?!

... uh ohhhh ... ya girl can blog from her phone!!!! There's an actual chance of consistency here!!! Lollll

Still figuring it out... so be patient with me.... and for those of you whi hung in during my absence ... thanks

<3 Jae

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what do you think about African men?

I think African men are from Africa.... I'd need to know in what CONTEXT you're asking, to give you my full answer :)

Ask me anything

What do you think is the hardest thing about being a mom?

I think the hardest thing is finding balance. Finding that line between mommy and child... raising a wonderful member of society... while giving the most love you've ever given. :) So, yeah. Balance. :)

Ask me anything

I miss my mother soooo much

On March 23rd, in the wee hours of the morning, my mother, Joanne Houston Sitgraves, left this planet and reached out to the hands of God.

We had our ups...and DEFINITELY our downs... but all in all, there's not a woman on this planet that I admired more. She truly knew how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents and deserved SO MUCH MORE out of life, than what she was given.



This is a video tribute that I made for her funeral... I loved this woman... and I must say, there is NO loss greater, than the loss of your mother.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/JaeSpence

I FINALLY FINISHED MY TATTY!!! :)

I finally finished it!!! Wooo hoooo....




Hope you guys like!!! :) 7 hrs and 450.00 later I'm all finished w/ my tatty :) I LOVE IT!!! For those of you who didn't know how it started... here it is...


All I have to say is, don't get drunk in an apartment w/ someone who has a homemade tattoo gun and too much time on their hands... hahahahahaha It was a HOT MESS and I had lived w/ it for 10 years... it was time for a change...

Tattoo's aren't for me... I don't like them much... and they're WAYYYYYY more painful than my piercings... I have one more to finish up and then I'm done foreveeeeerrrrr :)

I C U!

So, my intuition is SUPER STRONG! It always has been... I can sniff out a liar from a MILE AWAY... My senses must be even more keen as of recent because I've sniffed out a couple of liars who actually lied for NO GOOD DAMN REASON!

I'm not going to go very DEEP w/ this... but I will say... be mindful of who you let onto your friendslist on Facebook. I know, it's just a social networking site... but, for some reason, people ( self included ) are more comfortable divulging things about themselves on Facebook than they were on Myspace or any other network... maybe because MOST of the people on my list, I ACTUALLY know...

I have a fair amount of friends who have reached out to me via friends I ACTUALLY DO KNOW... meaning, I don't know these people... but we KNOW someone in common. .. a few people have come at me or approached me on a personal interest level... and it has flourished into something that could have possibly gone somewhere..

... and then I started sniffing ...

sigh... please don't try to be a f/b player... lol... that game RARELY works... your network is too close to the surface and you WILL be found out... funnny funnny funnnnnnnny ;) I CU!

Tatty Stage One!

I just realized that I had NEVER followed up on my blog about the new tattoo!!! Well here it is... STAGE ONE (I still have 2 more sittings)...

I sat for 4 hours for this first stage... believe it of not, it's still not really as LARGE as I wanted it... but, Maybe when it's all done, I'll love it more...

The next couple of stages will consist of adding the stems and more shading in the petals... :) I love love love my tatty... :)

I think the FUNNIEST thing about this tattoo is, It's getting me a decent amount of 'play' hahahahaha... Since I got it, at least 3 gentlemen have expressed an interest in licking it... hahahahahah... That's weird... but... I guess an compliment right? hahahaha..

Tell me what you think!!! :)

I'm gettin' TATTED!!!

Sooo... I'm not much on Tattoo's... It's VERY RARE for me to see one that I like... and rarer still for me to see one that I WANT!

Welll...it's HAPPENED!!! I saw this tattoo and fell in LOVVVVVVVE... and .... Now I'm going to be getting TATTED SATURDAY!!! Wooo hooo

... now of course, this tattoo is up the side of a very skinny chick... and we ALL KNOW that I am NOT that chick... lmaooo If I were to place my tat in the SAME PLACE You would miss half of it do to... ummm... let us call it... FOLDING lmaooo

MINE will be up the outside of my right upper arm with the top lily opening onto the shoulder. The bottom stems will be made into treble clefs... :) :) :) It's going to be LARGE... going from elbow to shoulder... and I may add a large lily... (3 lilies)...

I know FOR SURE that it won't go past the bend of my elbow... because I want to be able to wear 3/4 length shirts w/o the tat showing (for business)... Wooo hoooo... I'm excited...

What sucks is that just TONIGHT I found another one that I ALSO like... I'm so indecisive that it's causing me to vacillate now!! lol... Here's THAT picture...

Sooo I've got a couple of days to make my decision... Ahhhhh... lol

Pain pain pain...

**MAN! I PUT THAT ON MY GRANDMA'S GRAVE!**

This video MADE-MY-WEEK!
Ramen Noodles are LIKE that sometimes... but I've NEVER wigged out like this!!!
hahahahaha HILARIOUS!

New Year, New Do :)

Soooo It's 2010 right?? And everyone is talking about all the changes that they're going to make... Going to the gym... Enhancing their relationships... Stopping the smoking habit!

Me... I have done some of that... but like

I said in

the Vlog...it's a year of EXPLORATION for me... I have pledged to lose @ least 100lbs by the end of the year and I'm well on my way... I'm down 8lbs since 01/05... and I am trying to pace myself...

... but if you flash back i my blog about a YEAR ago, I was pledging the same thing.. lol but I'm still here... still chubby ... still as fluffy as ever ... lol...

Yesterday, I decided I needed an IMMEDIATE change and decided to try a ne

w hairdo... :) My hair chan

ges like the wind anyway... so this isn't really a DRASTIC difference... I just wanted longer, softer, more girlie... and I went

for it!!

I went ahead and put some weavaliciousness into my hair and voila... here ya go... Let me know what you think!! :)

I'll be vlogging again soon so you'll get to see this MASSIVE amount of hair! I mea

n it's like a MANE!!! I look like simba if I let it all down... hahaha...

Until next time... :)

... 2 years later ...

................ wooooo-sahhhhhh ................

Sooo... if I'm minding my own business... watching the "Bad Girls Club" and strumming my six-string, why oh why are you bothering me? Please explain how, when it's been at LEAST 6 months since I heard your voice, and a year and a half since I saw your face... you're still haunting me?

I'd ask you to leave... let me live my life... allow me to invite in even the prospect of submitting a portion of myself to someone else on the same level as you were afforded... I'd beg of you to let me reclaim that small piece of my heart that you'd stolen... no wait... I'd freely given in lighter times.... I'd request these things...

... except...

What would would I have?

... I can't smell you anymore... can't even remember your essence wafting lightly into my experience... your features are becoming vague, except for the technological 'gifts' that allow for my sadistic-voyeurism to flourish... But you look different... something changes when you're holding your son... or touching her... shoulder... something about that picture is wrong... strange...

... it's not you... it's her...
..............she.......................
...... should have been......
.............me..........................

... but it's not crippling anymore... these memories... thoughts... regrets.... matter of fact, you've become more fleeting than concrete... I go about time... being Jae... learning Jae... seeking Jae... forgetting J.

... release me...

... because I care about my readers, I ask for this ONE promise...

Because I care about you guys... I hope that you, my readers, will promise me that you will ALWAYS know how short your skirt is... and ALWAYS shave your taco meat... lmaooooooooooooooo I died laughing for at LEAST 30 minutes after viewing this.

hahahahahahah

Vlog... Year of 'Exploration'...

Happy New YEAR!!! Vlog from Jae! :)

*Sexually Spontaneous*

-- So for whatever reason, I'm feeling some sort of 'way' tonight... not frisky or even horny... just... I guess... longing...

*what for?*

-- Someone who is sexually spontaneous. Recently, I've been seeing guys who are... umm... to borrow a word from my homie Jaycie "lame". They are ok and serve their purpose but nothing about them 'excites' me. Doesn't make me swoon or even think about them too often... especially in the sexual sense. I guess you can call them 'pass-times'... you may as well... because that's what I call them.

-- There's absolutely nothing like a man who is intelligent, caring, tender, up and coming (or better yet already there!), and SEXUALLY SPONTANEOUS!... what does that mean? To me, it's someone who will, at the drop of a hat, show you how they're 'feeling'... no shame in their game but always keeping it discreet (if in public), and steamy and no holds barred when in private...

-- For example... Right now, I'm here laying on the bed on my tummy typing my blog... chillin' in my boycuts and sportsbra @ home all alone (kiddo's away)... -- Regular guy, let's call him Poindexter, would come in lay beside me, ask what I'm doing... maybe chit chat... give me a kiss on the cheek, and go on about his business...

-- Sexually spontaneous man, hmmm... Let's call him Frederico (lol), would come in and act nonchalant... slowly run his hands up the back of my legs and over my arse... maybe kiss my up my back and move my boycuts to the side for some handplay... (I know, and overshare... but I'm keeping it REAL... this is MY BLOG!)...

-- I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE that sort of thing... I mean, it's not enough to make the OTHER things not matter... but it's definitely a nice icing on the yummy man cake. --

Anyway... Sometimes you can't put your finger on what you're missing... but right now, I know exactly what it is... :: Sigh:: oh well...

I thought I'd seen EVERYTHING... and then...

So seriously... What's next?? Brace yourself... This is crazy...

It's DONE!!! and I LOVE IT!!!

DONE!!! I love it!!! It hurt like a MOLLYHOPPER but so worth it... :) My piercer was GREAT so nice... and I look forward to changing it to a SMALLER gem after it heals (can't do so right now)... :)

I'm super excited about this piercing... even though it's semi-permanent... they make clear plugs and flesh colored plugs... so when it's really not APPROPRIATE to have a gem beside your eye... I am able to downplay it... lol

It still hurts a bit... and bled for QUITE a while... but it's subsided now :) I love piercings... but I fear this will be my last...

Well... it'll be my last that's visible to the public ;^)

TOoooo-Morrow Tomorrow... I'm PIERCING Tomorrow... it's only a day AAAWAYYY!!

To the left you see the hardware that will be IMPLANTED into my face TOMORROW! It's called a microdermal implant or a facial anchor piercing... They pierce the skin and then implant that bottom piece (w/ all the holes) into your body wherever you'd like... afterwhich they screw in the ball... the entire process takes between 20 and 30 minutes and LOOKS very painful...

I know you're thinking, JAE!!! You're NUTS!!! But nooooo i'm not! I'm soo excited and scared all @ the same time... The last piercing I had completed was my "Marilyn" (above my lip). Since then, I've searched and searched for a new piercing... I'm so particular w/ what I want on my face that I hadn't found anything... until today...

I will have mine placed beside my right eye... just to the side... (that's a pic of what it will probably look like... except the gem will be larger... and there will only be one... )... I'm so excited!!!!!!

The only think that REALLY bothers me, is that when I want to completely remove it, I can't just take it out as is the case w/ my other piercings... I'll have to go have it CUT out either by my piercer or a physician... You can change the hardware (jewel, ball, etc) but the BASE won't come out unless it's CUT out...

... Those holes in the base are important to this entire process... They're there SPECIFICALLY to anchor the piercing into my face... the skin is supposed to grow IN BETWEEN those holes therefore keeping it in place... it's called a semi-permanent body modification...

To the RIGHT you'll see Monica... She has this modification as well... (look closely to the outside of her eye... that little bead of light is her piercing)... I had NO CLUE she had this until AFTER I'd already decided to have it done! It looks SO cute on her... I only hope it does me justice... :)

Ok, I'm rambling... but... ya know... I can't WAIT! When I leave my current job for another ( after I finish college, etc)... I'll probably go have it cut out for a more professional look... but HONESTLY, it doesn't look 'freakish' at all... Piercing when done CORRECTLY and in MODERATION can actually COMPLIMENT the natural aesthetic... :)

Wish me luck... and I'll have pics! :)