**MAN! I PUT THAT ON MY GRANDMA'S GRAVE!**

This video MADE-MY-WEEK!
Ramen Noodles are LIKE that sometimes... but I've NEVER wigged out like this!!!
hahahahaha HILARIOUS!

New Year, New Do :)

Soooo It's 2010 right?? And everyone is talking about all the changes that they're going to make... Going to the gym... Enhancing their relationships... Stopping the smoking habit!

Me... I have done some of that... but like

I said in

the Vlog...it's a year of EXPLORATION for me... I have pledged to lose @ least 100lbs by the end of the year and I'm well on my way... I'm down 8lbs since 01/05... and I am trying to pace myself...

... but if you flash back i my blog about a YEAR ago, I was pledging the same thing.. lol but I'm still here... still chubby ... still as fluffy as ever ... lol...

Yesterday, I decided I needed an IMMEDIATE change and decided to try a ne

w hairdo... :) My hair chan

ges like the wind anyway... so this isn't really a DRASTIC difference... I just wanted longer, softer, more girlie... and I went

for it!!

I went ahead and put some weavaliciousness into my hair and voila... here ya go... Let me know what you think!! :)

I'll be vlogging again soon so you'll get to see this MASSIVE amount of hair! I mea

n it's like a MANE!!! I look like simba if I let it all down... hahaha...

Until next time... :)

... 2 years later ...

................ wooooo-sahhhhhh ................

Sooo... if I'm minding my own business... watching the "Bad Girls Club" and strumming my six-string, why oh why are you bothering me? Please explain how, when it's been at LEAST 6 months since I heard your voice, and a year and a half since I saw your face... you're still haunting me?

I'd ask you to leave... let me live my life... allow me to invite in even the prospect of submitting a portion of myself to someone else on the same level as you were afforded... I'd beg of you to let me reclaim that small piece of my heart that you'd stolen... no wait... I'd freely given in lighter times.... I'd request these things...

... except...

What would would I have?

... I can't smell you anymore... can't even remember your essence wafting lightly into my experience... your features are becoming vague, except for the technological 'gifts' that allow for my sadistic-voyeurism to flourish... But you look different... something changes when you're holding your son... or touching her... shoulder... something about that picture is wrong... strange...

... it's not you... it's her...
..............she.......................
...... should have been......
.............me..........................

... but it's not crippling anymore... these memories... thoughts... regrets.... matter of fact, you've become more fleeting than concrete... I go about time... being Jae... learning Jae... seeking Jae... forgetting J.

... release me...

... because I care about my readers, I ask for this ONE promise...

Because I care about you guys... I hope that you, my readers, will promise me that you will ALWAYS know how short your skirt is... and ALWAYS shave your taco meat... lmaooooooooooooooo I died laughing for at LEAST 30 minutes after viewing this.

hahahahahahah

Vlog... Year of 'Exploration'...

Happy New YEAR!!! Vlog from Jae! :)

*Sexually Spontaneous*

-- So for whatever reason, I'm feeling some sort of 'way' tonight... not frisky or even horny... just... I guess... longing...

*what for?*

-- Someone who is sexually spontaneous. Recently, I've been seeing guys who are... umm... to borrow a word from my homie Jaycie "lame". They are ok and serve their purpose but nothing about them 'excites' me. Doesn't make me swoon or even think about them too often... especially in the sexual sense. I guess you can call them 'pass-times'... you may as well... because that's what I call them.

-- There's absolutely nothing like a man who is intelligent, caring, tender, up and coming (or better yet already there!), and SEXUALLY SPONTANEOUS!... what does that mean? To me, it's someone who will, at the drop of a hat, show you how they're 'feeling'... no shame in their game but always keeping it discreet (if in public), and steamy and no holds barred when in private...

-- For example... Right now, I'm here laying on the bed on my tummy typing my blog... chillin' in my boycuts and sportsbra @ home all alone (kiddo's away)... -- Regular guy, let's call him Poindexter, would come in lay beside me, ask what I'm doing... maybe chit chat... give me a kiss on the cheek, and go on about his business...

-- Sexually spontaneous man, hmmm... Let's call him Frederico (lol), would come in and act nonchalant... slowly run his hands up the back of my legs and over my arse... maybe kiss my up my back and move my boycuts to the side for some handplay... (I know, and overshare... but I'm keeping it REAL... this is MY BLOG!)...

-- I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE that sort of thing... I mean, it's not enough to make the OTHER things not matter... but it's definitely a nice icing on the yummy man cake. --

Anyway... Sometimes you can't put your finger on what you're missing... but right now, I know exactly what it is... :: Sigh:: oh well...

I thought I'd seen EVERYTHING... and then...

So seriously... What's next?? Brace yourself... This is crazy...

It's DONE!!! and I LOVE IT!!!

DONE!!! I love it!!! It hurt like a MOLLYHOPPER but so worth it... :) My piercer was GREAT so nice... and I look forward to changing it to a SMALLER gem after it heals (can't do so right now)... :)

I'm super excited about this piercing... even though it's semi-permanent... they make clear plugs and flesh colored plugs... so when it's really not APPROPRIATE to have a gem beside your eye... I am able to downplay it... lol

It still hurts a bit... and bled for QUITE a while... but it's subsided now :) I love piercings... but I fear this will be my last...

Well... it'll be my last that's visible to the public ;^)

TOoooo-Morrow Tomorrow... I'm PIERCING Tomorrow... it's only a day AAAWAYYY!!

To the left you see the hardware that will be IMPLANTED into my face TOMORROW! It's called a microdermal implant or a facial anchor piercing... They pierce the skin and then implant that bottom piece (w/ all the holes) into your body wherever you'd like... afterwhich they screw in the ball... the entire process takes between 20 and 30 minutes and LOOKS very painful...

I know you're thinking, JAE!!! You're NUTS!!! But nooooo i'm not! I'm soo excited and scared all @ the same time... The last piercing I had completed was my "Marilyn" (above my lip). Since then, I've searched and searched for a new piercing... I'm so particular w/ what I want on my face that I hadn't found anything... until today...

I will have mine placed beside my right eye... just to the side... (that's a pic of what it will probably look like... except the gem will be larger... and there will only be one... )... I'm so excited!!!!!!

The only think that REALLY bothers me, is that when I want to completely remove it, I can't just take it out as is the case w/ my other piercings... I'll have to go have it CUT out either by my piercer or a physician... You can change the hardware (jewel, ball, etc) but the BASE won't come out unless it's CUT out...

... Those holes in the base are important to this entire process... They're there SPECIFICALLY to anchor the piercing into my face... the skin is supposed to grow IN BETWEEN those holes therefore keeping it in place... it's called a semi-permanent body modification...

To the RIGHT you'll see Monica... She has this modification as well... (look closely to the outside of her eye... that little bead of light is her piercing)... I had NO CLUE she had this until AFTER I'd already decided to have it done! It looks SO cute on her... I only hope it does me justice... :)

Ok, I'm rambling... but... ya know... I can't WAIT! When I leave my current job for another ( after I finish college, etc)... I'll probably go have it cut out for a more professional look... but HONESTLY, it doesn't look 'freakish' at all... Piercing when done CORRECTLY and in MODERATION can actually COMPLIMENT the natural aesthetic... :)

Wish me luck... and I'll have pics! :)

Just a little Vlog.. :) Catching UP

"I'm going to wear you out..."

Ok, So I'm going to reveal a little bit about myself that I'm sure MOST of you don't know.... When I was in highschool, I had a SERIOUS obession w/ Tiger Woods. Like SERIOUS. EVERY INCH of every wall of my bedroom was COVERED w/ any image of him that I could find... I even cut a few of the pictures out and made them "3-D" so that it would seem he was ACTUALLY in my room... lmaooooo ... a little trick I learned in art class...

I OWN the video that shows how he began... him as a little one putting away w/ his daddy Earl... I watched it EVERY SINGLE DAY! I would watch EVERY golf game that he played in that was televised... and when he came to KY @ Valhalla... I had serious thoughts of sneaking in and charging the green! This was SERIOUS... @ one point I THINK I believed that I'd one day MEET Tiger, and he'd fall head over hills in love w/ me... lmaooooooooo (I said I was a kid right?!)

This obsession faded (thankfully) and, though I STILL thought he was a fantastic athlete and VERY handsome (for my tastes), I didn't obsess or even really FOLLOW his career... Until Now...

TIGER just got 10x HAWTER! Wow... I know, I know... He cheated on his wife w/ 3 broads... Ok, that was wrong... but honestly, I'm sure 99% of all FAMOUS ATHLETES do this! Men are ONLY as faithful as the options available to them... and let's keep it ALL THE WAY REAL, when the zero's start getting stacked onto the end of your income, the caliber of 'panty-droppers' available to you CLIMBS SIGNIFICANTLY.

You know in Highschool Tiger got ZERO play from anyone even REMOTELY resembling these ladies. I mean YES, he may have gotten a little slob action from the chess team geeks... or maybe a handjob from the only female tuba player in the band... but Top Shelf Arse? Nah- nothin' doin'... So he was, in essence reliving his highschool dreams and knocking out every piece of choice poon-tang he could muster.

Let me get to the reason his sex appeal just CLIMBED (in my opinion...)... TIGER IS HUMAN! He's not SQUEAKY CLEAN as he's been portrayed for YEARS... This dude texted one of his mistresses " How long has it been since you had a good fuck?"! WHAT?!! :: instant lubrication:: and "I'm going to WEAR YOU OUT." :: WET NAP PLEASE!!!??

There's NOTHING I love more than a good steamy text from the person I'm seeing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! My imagination tends to be more INTENSE than most... and generally out performs the ACTUAL act that you've made me think you're going to perform... So NOW I have the PERFECT COMBINATION of what I ALWAYS ASKED for in a man... Articulate, Intelligent, Ambitious, Driven, Passionate (about his craft), and Presentable to ALL audiences in public... but OH SO NASTY w/ me... lol... I'm talking BARACK to everyone else... and PLIES in the bedroom, while whispering in MY ear, and on my text screen... Sheesh...

Tiger... you're a bad bad bad boy for cheatin' on Elin... but umm... If you ever decide to like sista's (thick/chubby sista's nonetheless)... I know a Caramel colored Kentuckian who'd be MUCH OBLIGED to satiate that need...

... call me...
lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

... Be Good Jae ...

... So I'm supposed to have a very innocent meal w/ a friend next week. Just so happens this friend and I haven't seen each other for about 2 1/2 years... whay? Because we have chemistry. Electricity. In crazy amounts...

... So What's the Problem Jae?...

THE PROBLEM IS that little piece of precious metal encircling his left ring finger... and the appendage that is attached to it by vows made before God... yep... you guessed it...

... I have PURPOSEFULLY avoided this friend since our last meeting because the temptation to explore 'friendly' depths is much to ... well ... tempting for both of us... Lunch is safe right? Public place... ACROSS the table... innocent as can be... and BESIDES!! I'll be on my break from WORK... so I have time constraints! Yeah... this'll be ok...

Whew... I feel better... glad I talked that out... ;) (Only wish I still WASN'T so nervous.... )

Bad Singing... and Bad Guitar Playing (But it's ME! LOL)

This is a vid of me playing my gitfiddle VERY LATE last night... The singing isn't good... and the playing is worse! lmaoooo. But I hadn't posted for a bit... and I remember promising a video... Don't be too hard on me...

** So CRASS!!! But she makes SO MUCH SENSE!!**

This woman is SOOOOO Crass in the way that she says what she says... but if you LISTEN to the message... she makes alot of sense... Judge for yourself... (I've seen some of her OTHER more HUMOROUS video's... and I laughed... but THIS one... made me think a bit... )

**NOW with even LOWWWERRR Standards!! ** LMAOOOO

Due to shortages in men in the Greater Louisville Area, the following categories of unforgivable lowlifes have been promoted to "potential relationship material" for me:

-Liars
-Cheaters
-Daily pot smokers
-My intellectual inferiors
-Dirty, smelly coffee shop poets
-Barflies
-Possessive types
-Women haters
-Men old enough to be my Dad
-My Dad
-Anyone else in my family, including the remains of my dead grandfather
-Lawyers
-People who can't spell and refuse to use spell check
-Alcoholics
-Negative, angry types
-Politicians/the criminally insane
-Smokers who pretend to be non-smokers
-Vain, self-centered artists
-Drama queens
-Guys who always get dumped and can't figure out why
-The dental-hygienically challenged
-Players
-Polygamists
-Republicans
-Anyone with that shit-eating fetish
-People who ever liked the band "Book of Love"
-Pig Fuckers
-Pink shirt wearing corporate capitalist dick heads who drive fancy cars
-Free loaders
-Your dumb friend, age 37, who still plays video games after work
-Anyone with a toupee
-The insecure
-Misers
-Humorless "business" types
-Mama's Boys
-Egomaniacs
-Sex addicts
-Poseurs
-Infantile fuckwits who blame everyone else for their problems
-Narcissists
-Bad kissers
-The fiscally irresponsible
-Underachieving slacker dudes
-Anyone in any kind of tribute band

Hope to hear from you soon! (and I'm SO SURE that I will!! )

..I'll get by w/ a little help from my friends....

(That's me and my girl Vida @ work... Swine Flu Ready a couple of weeks ago... hahahahah)

....

So I've been M.I.A for about 4 months now... I can't BELIEVE it's been that long since I've blogged steadily.... Something about the motions of moving and getting everything unpacked and settled has gotten me off track w/ my blogging... It's really a shame... because there's been so much to write about...

... It's been kind of a down quarter for me... There have been some MAJOR betrayals... and some major "strings" cut. I'll spare the ridiculous details of what happened... but in the last 3 months I've cut at least 3 close friends 'loose'... and for good reason...

... I've learned a lesson... a few actually... that will stick w/ me for the remainder of my days... 1.) My mother was right about many many things that I wish she WASN'T right about. 2.) Birds of a feather, really DO stick together... 3.) Sometimes keeping your friends close and your enemies closer is confusing... because the line between the two is SO VERY FINE...

... Oh well I say... Good riddance right? The word "Friend" is used too loosely by most... and taken too seriously by few... Friends to me are like family... I hold them very close... and when one hurts me to the depths that these few have, it changes me as a person... and usually not for the better...

... It happened... It's over...
I'll live... that's all I have to say. :)

(WOW!! Two days in a row!!! Wooo hooooo)

.... But she still wonders why...

(picture is of my daughters father Dominic... the source of MUCH conversation for us today....)


Today, my daughter had a session of crying and asking me questions. No... this was about Spongebob, or life, or even her new obsession, Michael Jackson. It was about her father. She asked me what he looked like, and if she'd ever met him. I told her that he had stayed w/ us for about a week and a half when she was 2... and that he was handsome. I showed her a picture (which I am SURE that I had shown her before... )... and then began the waterworks....

She went on and on about how she had to explain to her friends that she didn't have a daddy. And that she didn't even know what his name was. She said that she was the only person who she KNEW that didn't have their father or that had never seen him... I told her that was ABSOLUTELY not true...

... with astonishment in her eyes, she asked, " Who else mommi?"... I paused, took her little face into my hand... and said " Me." I explained to her how I had never layed eyes on my biological father and that even though she and I BOTH had his last name, he was a stranger. I told her that I completely understood her pain... and that I would see what I could do to get her into contact w/ her father....

... This is going to be hard...

She came home and wrote him a letter... telling him that she loved him... andmissed him... and that she was going to come see him if he didn't see her... She drew pictures of him, and of him and her, and of us three together smiling.... holding hands... and being a family.

... I don't tell her the bad stuff... or that I keep him away in effort to protect her... I don't let her know that he does nothing to take care of her... or that if he wanted to put forth the effort, we COULD HAVE been that family that she'd just scratched out on her pad... She doesn't need to know these things... because in the long run... it'll make her dislike ME more...

Instead I tell her, somethings just aren't meant... and I'm sure he loves her almost as much as I do... I promise her that I'll do all that I can... I send him and email ... and I kiss her goodnight... Telling her somethings just aren't meant to be... and that he and I will never be a couple...

... But she still wonders, " Why?"....

**My New Cellular Device**

YAY!!! Finally after 18 months of the Tmobile Dash... It's time for a new celly!!! There you see it... just to the right of this picture... Tmobile Mytouch 3g. :)

(No Jay, I haven't joined the CRACKBERRY nation.... I will do that as soon as you send my your first 'tweet'... lol)

I'm super stoked because this phone is allll that I really need. It has the app's like iphone, 3g service (speedy), internet capability, and is closely linked w/ google and all of it's applications. This should enable me to blog more often... and on the go...

Trust me, my blogging on the fly is way funnier than when I've had time to overthink the subjects... lol

Definitely looking forward to receiving it in about a week... YES!! I said a WEEK... Due to the fact that I called customer service for T-mobile and THREATENED to cancel service w/ them, they offered me a full upgrade 6 months early. CATCH IS, I have to wait for it to be mailed to me... BOOOOOOO... I'm SUCH an immediate gratification kind of girl... I want it NOW!!! But, alas.. you can't always get what you want...


To the Left (to the left ), you see the SKIN that I've ordered for my phone... SKINIT.com is a GREAT site that lets you order customized hardshells and gel skin's for your cell, laptop, psp, crackberry, toaster, etc (well... maybe not the toaster).

This is a picture w/ me and my best friend in the world, my guitar... and the front is one of the many beautiful sunsets I captured while in Panama city beach in May... along w/ the word, " Solace "... Because that's really all I want...

I feel like a lil' kid waiting for Christmas right now!!! I'm actually going to the T-mobile store to get some screen protectors and see what kind of accessories I can buy for my new baby...

YAYAYAYAY I loveeeee new toys... of ANY kind ;^)

Your Friends...

(That's a pic of me and my six string tonight (9.1.09)... OH! And my swollen jaw (from dental work yesterday)...

I'm coming back... Soon... I promise. Let me just say a lil' something though...

Be careful who you call your FRIENDS.

I consider myself to be a 'friendly' person... I like to laugh but moreover, I like to make OTHERS laugh. There's nothing like the sound of joy. Nothing... Let's not confuse the issue though. Just because we are laughing together, doesn't mean that you're my 'friend'.

I have a HANDFUL of true friends. Literally like 5! I know many people and surround myself w/ many aquaintances. To your eye, they look like they've known me for years. Truthfully, they have no clue as to my inner workings.

Lately, a few of the 'aquaintances' that were becoming true friends, have let me down. They've shown themselves to be opportunistic and flaky. The details of the situation are unimportant... I just wanted to say... please know who your real friends are...

... Guess who's in love...

... not me...

I feel like all my friends/family/aquaintances/dogs in the neighborhood/birds and locusts are in love.

... bastards...

They're all in love or falling there... or getting married.... or having a baby ( Jim (exie) had his a couple of days ago)... They're writing about love and bragging about romance and kissing and holding hands and cuddling and UGH!!!

... I am so frustrated ...

Not that I'm NOT in love... that I don't CARE TO BE in love!! Like...I miss companionship... and I've tried to FORCE myself into caring and feeling for someone... and I don't. Nope. Not one Iota...

Definitely... I am realizing that I am a completely different person in this realm of my life than I have ever been. Not wide eyed. Not eager. Guarded. Icy even. not myself.

Meds? Could be. I've restarted my A.D.D meds ( about a month ago )... and asked for Depression meds... because things for me were getting a little too... ummm... dark.

It's astonishing how you can fool people... You'd never guess what's really going on in someone's head if they gave you a smile and a laugh. You can't see a slow death when it's veiled in a vibrant living front... ;)

So anyway... Everyone's in love.

... yeah...

congrats

*bastards*