"I'm going to wear you out..."

Ok, So I'm going to reveal a little bit about myself that I'm sure MOST of you don't know.... When I was in highschool, I had a SERIOUS obession w/ Tiger Woods. Like SERIOUS. EVERY INCH of every wall of my bedroom was COVERED w/ any image of him that I could find... I even cut a few of the pictures out and made them "3-D" so that it would seem he was ACTUALLY in my room... lmaooooo ... a little trick I learned in art class...

I OWN the video that shows how he began... him as a little one putting away w/ his daddy Earl... I watched it EVERY SINGLE DAY! I would watch EVERY golf game that he played in that was televised... and when he came to KY @ Valhalla... I had serious thoughts of sneaking in and charging the green! This was SERIOUS... @ one point I THINK I believed that I'd one day MEET Tiger, and he'd fall head over hills in love w/ me... lmaooooooooo (I said I was a kid right?!)

This obsession faded (thankfully) and, though I STILL thought he was a fantastic athlete and VERY handsome (for my tastes), I didn't obsess or even really FOLLOW his career... Until Now...

TIGER just got 10x HAWTER! Wow... I know, I know... He cheated on his wife w/ 3 broads... Ok, that was wrong... but honestly, I'm sure 99% of all FAMOUS ATHLETES do this! Men are ONLY as faithful as the options available to them... and let's keep it ALL THE WAY REAL, when the zero's start getting stacked onto the end of your income, the caliber of 'panty-droppers' available to you CLIMBS SIGNIFICANTLY.

You know in Highschool Tiger got ZERO play from anyone even REMOTELY resembling these ladies. I mean YES, he may have gotten a little slob action from the chess team geeks... or maybe a handjob from the only female tuba player in the band... but Top Shelf Arse? Nah- nothin' doin'... So he was, in essence reliving his highschool dreams and knocking out every piece of choice poon-tang he could muster.

Let me get to the reason his sex appeal just CLIMBED (in my opinion...)... TIGER IS HUMAN! He's not SQUEAKY CLEAN as he's been portrayed for YEARS... This dude texted one of his mistresses " How long has it been since you had a good fuck?"! WHAT?!! :: instant lubrication:: and "I'm going to WEAR YOU OUT." :: WET NAP PLEASE!!!??

There's NOTHING I love more than a good steamy text from the person I'm seeing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! My imagination tends to be more INTENSE than most... and generally out performs the ACTUAL act that you've made me think you're going to perform... So NOW I have the PERFECT COMBINATION of what I ALWAYS ASKED for in a man... Articulate, Intelligent, Ambitious, Driven, Passionate (about his craft), and Presentable to ALL audiences in public... but OH SO NASTY w/ me... lol... I'm talking BARACK to everyone else... and PLIES in the bedroom, while whispering in MY ear, and on my text screen... Sheesh...

Tiger... you're a bad bad bad boy for cheatin' on Elin... but umm... If you ever decide to like sista's (thick/chubby sista's nonetheless)... I know a Caramel colored Kentuckian who'd be MUCH OBLIGED to satiate that need...

... call me...
lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooo