... Guess who's in love...

... not me...

I feel like all my friends/family/aquaintances/dogs in the neighborhood/birds and locusts are in love.

... bastards...

They're all in love or falling there... or getting married.... or having a baby ( Jim (exie) had his a couple of days ago)... They're writing about love and bragging about romance and kissing and holding hands and cuddling and UGH!!!

... I am so frustrated ...

Not that I'm NOT in love... that I don't CARE TO BE in love!! Like...I miss companionship... and I've tried to FORCE myself into caring and feeling for someone... and I don't. Nope. Not one Iota...

Definitely... I am realizing that I am a completely different person in this realm of my life than I have ever been. Not wide eyed. Not eager. Guarded. Icy even. not myself.

Meds? Could be. I've restarted my A.D.D meds ( about a month ago )... and asked for Depression meds... because things for me were getting a little too... ummm... dark.

It's astonishing how you can fool people... You'd never guess what's really going on in someone's head if they gave you a smile and a laugh. You can't see a slow death when it's veiled in a vibrant living front... ;)

So anyway... Everyone's in love.

... yeah...

congrats

*bastards*

**Ain't We Lucky WE Got 'Em**

...I'm sure every one of us has watched "Good Times" and laughed, cried (when James died), or scoffed at the outlandishness of J.J... But yesterday, I as I lay in bed watching the dynamic of the Evans family... I was touched... by 'James'.

NO!... Not by John Amos, the actor that PLAYED James Evans... but by the man or character that he was... In the episode that I was watching, James had been offered a place in the apprenticeship that would pay him more money that he'd ever made ( 4.20hrly). He was so excited to finally be able to do for his family that he dressed in his Sunday's best (or his 'goin' to a funeral clothes' as Florida called them), and ordered Florida to buy the best food, drink, and party favors that thier RENT MONEY could buy...

To make a long story short, he got to the office only to find that a mistake in the computer caused them to show him 10 years younger than he actually was, and subsequently made him TOO OLD for the apprentice program... so he didn't get the job...

INSTEAD of going home and griping and whining about WOE IS ME and THE MAN IS KEEPING ME DOWN he proceeded to tell his wife... who then SUPPORTED him and told him as long as they had family, and they were happy, that they'd make it (I'll speak on this in a bit)... James found a side job to get the money that he'd wasted on the party... and that was that... SCUFFLED to make ends meet for his fam.

TO ME... James Evans is the epitome of what a black father should be. YES! He was BROKE ... but he provided for his family by ANY means necessary ( being a dishwasher, car wash attendant, etc). He held onto his role as a strong black patriarch of their family and ruled with a stern, yet loving hand. James is supportive of his wife and in turn, gets her support... If I find a James Evans... my search is over... period. Broke or not.

As for Florida in this episode, it showed me that we should recognize when our men are TRYING to do well... Let's praise and encourage them for what they're DOING and stop downing them for what they're NOT doing... I mean if they're TRULY trying to better themselves... let's be behind them :)

Aight...I'm off my James Evans High Horse